A few days ago I went to hang out with a friend. As I pulled up I realized something had just happened. The atmosphere was a bit tense. I learned his wife accidentally busted his tail light while unloading his SUV after going garage selling. He looked upset that it happened, naturally. And she seemed worried, maybe embarrassed. But he took a second to think and asked how it happened. He found it was an accident. His reply to it was amazing. “It’s ok honey. We’ll get it fixed.”
Yeah. “It’s ok honey. We’ll get it fixed.”
After he and I went off to our adventure he asked me, “How do you handle things like that?” I guess he thought that my few more years of marriage would lend some advice. I did have the wisdom he needed but unfortunately I had it because I did not handle a similar situation well.
I told him of the time while we were dating when Amanda opened my back hatch of my SUV and my new DVD player fell out onto the pavement. It wasn’t her fault. She wasn’t being neglectful. It simply shifted to the right (or wrong) place to fall out when the hatch was opened.
I didn’t handle it well. I got really upset and threw my keys down on the ground, breaking my keychain. Oh, and this was standing on the font steps of the church right in front of our worship leader, his wife, and some others. I embarrassed her. She was hurt. I made her feel like she had done some unrepairable wrong.
Over a DVD player.
Could I have been more of a heartless jerk?
After our worship leader’s wife gave me the look of pure disgust I deserved she asked me, “Do you care more about that broken DVD player or her broken heart?”
Needless to sayI felt horrible and had to apologize. But the hurt was done and I could not take it back. I could only change the way I handled things in the future.
My advice to him was to care for her heart. $50 can fix his tail light. No amount of money can fix her heart.
So now I ask you. Do you care more for your wife’s heart than the condition of your stuff? Is your first reaction to love her regardless? Or instead, does she fear your reaction to her tiniest fail?
Let your houses be full of love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy. Care for her heart above all else.